German Shepherd's Pie

Everyone likes pie. That is just about everyone. But it comes in so many delicious and terribly delectable variations that you're bound to find at least one you love. On the other hand, pie takes work. A level of work that most people are disinclined to acquiesce to. But I know you, you're different. You're an individual who desires nothing more than to make a fine meal for friends and family.

You, good sir/madam, want to make my interpretation of a classic: German Shepherds Pie.

Now you may ask "Hey Rey, why do you call it 'German' Shepherd's Pie?" To which I'm inclined to answer "Hey! When you put your own spin on a timeless mealtime classic you can call it whatever you want!"

But anyway, here's the shit you're gonna need.

Shit needed:

1 lb ground beef (85/15 preferrably...unless you like to be a fatty)

2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

6 yukon gold potatoes

2 tsp salt

1 tbsp pepper

1 cup minced onions, green/red bell peppers, parsley
(you can also get creole seasoning and save yourself the trouble)

1 tbsp olive oil

1 cup sliced mushrooms (don't be a sissy, slice your own mushrooms)

2 cups cream (that's heavy cream, not half and half...I'm not messing with you
on this one, you better use heavy cream I mean it!)

1 can cream of mushroom soup, condensed (for christ's sake, don't you dare put water
in that soup. Just leave it alone, okay?)

Directions (Please read before you set your house on fire):

In a large pot filled with water, place your seven diced potatoes in and set to high heat for boiling/softening. You want to boil them until they're mashable, about ten minutes or so. You'll know you're good to go when you see the little starch foam appear on the surface of the water. Drain the pot, taking care not to drop potato chunks (or scald yourself) in the process. I suggest the use of a collander...but that's just me.

After drainage, pour in your 2 cups of sharp cheddar (you did get the grated kind, right. Oh lord, please tell me you did.) the 2 cups of heavy cream, that lovely 1 tsp of salt and begin to mash the hell out of it. (BROTIP: If you can afford it, get a hand mixer...tennis elbow is a hassle). You're going to want to mash this to a creamy consistency, just like you would any batch of mashed potatoes.

Using your cast-iron 10" pan, drop that 1 tbsp of olive oil and set the heat to a medium. Add the pound of ground beef, the 1 cup of diced mushrooms, 1 tbsp pepper, 1tsp salt and 1 cup of diced onions/green/red peppers/parsley (creole seasoning) followed by plopping that can of cream of mushroom soup (condensed, without the water). When the beef is properly and evenly browned, drain that pan and you're ready for the FINAL SOLUTION involving the oven...

...it's funny, a lot of so-called "final solutions" involve ovens...anyway...

I'm going to count on you to have preheated your oven to 375-degrees Farenheit. While this lovely operation is being conducted, spread the mashed potatoes evenly on top of that ground beef of yours in the cast-iron pan. I would prefer you use a rubber spatula, but you know, whatever caulks your wagon and gets the job done. Now, place the evenly spread and layered mix into the oven, give it 20 minutes. When you see little golden brown accents here and there on the surface in addition to a firm crust; that's when you know its done. After removing it from the oven, let it set for ten minutes. Makes 8 servings.


So there you have it, enjoy!